Faithful readers, I'm really sorry to do this to you. But I needed to change at least the blog portion of my website in order for me to better integrate features that were lacking at my old blog home. You'll see what I mean in the weeks to come.
You can still access this blog through the Lynn's Journey site (www.freewebs.com/lynnsjourney) by clicking on My Weight-Loss Blog. The tab "Blog Archives" are blogs written the last few months that one day, when I figure out exactly how, I will move over here.
In the meantime, welcome to new blog home Blog #1.
I've been thinking a lot about change lately, probably because it's spring and spring is a time of renewal. I've never understood why we make resolutions to change on Jan. 1, in the dead of winter when motivation is at an all-time low. Make them in the spring when everything is fresh and new!
I'm resolving to change my body image. Yes, you read that right. I had a rough few days this week with body image. I went to the Gap and Target on Wednesday and tried on some summer shirts. I hadn’t really looked at my upper body since late summer since I’ve been buried in long-sleeved shirts all winter. What I saw in the dressing room mirror surprised me and actually scared me in a way.
I have a major rotator cuff tear in my right shoulder and a minor tear in my left. I also have bursitis and arthritis in both shoulder joints. I opted not to have surgery just yet because my granddaughter was just born and it would be months before I could hold her. I went to see a chiropractor and she's done wonders. Through weekly treatments (sometimes very painful treatments) and daily rehab exercises with hand weights, I am relatively pain free and have 80 to 90 percent mobility.
This is great news and I'll continue to rehab and see my chiropractor for treatments. However, all those exercises have really defined my arms and chest, which means on my medium to large-boned frame, I am very bony and old looking. I was shocked when I saw my reflection in the dressing room mirrors. Really honestly shocked. The bottom half of me looks the same, but the top is kind of scary.
I'm also going to tell you a truth not everyone likes to hear: the excess skin under my arms (my armpits) is more apparent, too. More than it was last summer. This means I want to be careful what kinds of clothes I wear. Yes, I’m vain that way.
I was mad at first. I mean, here I go and lose all kinds of weight and I have to be almost as selective about clothes as I was at 300 pounds. Then with the help of my maintenance support group, I realize that I’ll probably never be satisfied with how I look and so I’m learning to accept the person I look like now.
I do the rehab because it helps my shoulders. The consequence is that I’m cut and bony. I can live with that. I will change my body image. It'll take some time is all.
Are there any changes you want to make? Small or big, it doesn't matter. Let us know!