I bought this old rocking chair at a garage sale for $1 in the summer of 2004, the summer I weighed 300 pounds (give or take). Its seat was broad, like mine, and the arms had been removed so it fit me perfectly.
But throwing away that old chair would be like throwing away my old black pants. My pants, I wrote back in March (see “Ode To My Size 28 Black Stretch Pants”), are my friend. They help me through those days when I wonder: Why am I doing this? Why do I journal my food? Why do I eat the way I do? Why do I (usually) say no to chocolate cake, mac n’ cheese, and half in half in my coffee? I love those things!
“Ah,” say the size 28 black stretch pants, “but you love yourself even more.”
The old rocker is that kind of friend, too. It’s my favorite place to sit when I’m having a “fat” day because I remember that garage sale and how I sat down on it before I bought it. My back and legs were sore from walking around. The air was warm and I was breathing heavy. My face was flushed. Sweat trickled down my back. I sat on that chair to rest and it welcomed me – all of me – and gave me comfort.
When I sit on that chair now, I feel the magnitude of 170 pounds gone. I feel small and bony and strong. I feel healthy and grateful. I feel welcomed and comforted. In a way, the chair is my “Giving Tree.” (“The Giving Tree” is a children’s book by Shel Silverstein.) Only unlike the boy in the book, I (or rather my husband) fixed her seat, and in the coming weeks, she’ll get a fresh coat of paint. I need her and want her to have a long life on my porch.
Congratulations to Lynn’s Weigh Facebook “friend” Wendy, who won the Leslie Sansone “Walk & Firm” DVD giveaway! In a few days, my daughter Cassie will be back with a review and giveaway of a new yoga DVD. Stay tuned!