Monday, May 17, 2010

The Parting on the Left…

“And the parting on the left is now parting on the right…” The Who from “Won’t Get Fooled Again.”

In my case, the parting on the right is now parting on the left. My hair part, that is. But it’s a change, nonetheless. A subtle change that helps ebb the tide of last week’s angst.

Sorry for the six-day hiatus. Last week was a crazyass week with a crazyass schedule which prompted crazyass thoughts. However, there was a lot of good family time which counteracted the crazyass thoughts and now I’m back, head screwed on once again, in the world of clear(er) thinking.
Is this pure joy or what?
Luca and me
You know how when your immunity is low and you’re more likely to catch a secondary illness? The same principle applies to emotions. When I’m overwhelmed by one negative thought or experience, I’m more prone to secondary negativity. Last week, that secondary negativity was the “fuglies.”

Over on my Lynn’s Weigh Facebook page (you can join us by clicking here!), I asked: “Fat days...yeah, they happen. But what about overall ugly days? Mind, body, face...when our mind’s eye and our real eye REALLY don’t agree. What do you do?”

Here was the corresponding conversation:

Tobii: I am suffering with ugly days at the moment and have been for weeks. Nothing seems to get rid of it, even having a shower, fixing my hair and face, there is always something bad in my eyes. For me it is always at worst when I need a haircut and dye, once I get that sorted, I generally feel a lot better about myself.


Alison: I'm having a terribly ugly day today. But honestly it is my fault. Look at the pictures I just posted. I did nothing to get ready this morning. and I find if I take the few minutes to fix myself up in the morning, the ugly days are less likely to come.


Rhonda: Oh...I know about those ugly days. For me, a curly haired girl, these humid days really do me in. I wonder why I even fix my hair when the weather makes it look like I've been shot out of a cannon. ;)


Sheri: It's all about the hair, isn't it? If that's working, then everything else looks better.


Tammy: Ditto on the looking like I was shot out of a cannon. A straightener just doesn't do it when really humid. Bad hair typically means I feel ..blech.. throw on a hat, feel (extra) fat, etc.. Sad how important that hair is!


Me: Hair is a very strong influencer, but for me today, it's not my hair. It's just an overall ugh.


Tammy: I'm sure the sloppy paint-splattered sweats and baggy tee shirt aren't helping me out but eh.. better luck tomorrow! :o)


Barbara: sorry, Lynn ... avoid mirrors. :)


Shari: Ball cap, cool shades, lipstick.


Jennifer: Put on my walking sneakers and go for a walk it always clears my head and gives me time to regroup it's really a mind game we are playing with ourselves! If that does not work a good cup of coffee or tea always cheers me up!


Me: Jennifer, a walk sounds really good. And it's dark now so can get by without a hat ;)


Michelle G-L: I try and watch or listen to something funny...laughter helps. I stay away from cameras...LOL and I go for a nice long walk.


Michelle P H: I have those days, too. I make sure to stand up straighter, smile my best smile at everyone, and remember that my opinion of my looks doesn't influence anyone's love for me. They still love me!


Terri: I say stay away from anything reflective! When my niece is feeling that way instead of saying she is going to call in to work sick, she says "I'm calling in ugly". LOL


Karen: I'm glad to read this today...sometimes I feel all alone with my uglies...for me a lot of the time, it is underarm sag, and I saw it in the mirror when I brushed through my hair today. If you lose 110 pounds in your fifties, it is inevitable. I'd love to know what you do, Lynn?


Mary: Perhaps pull out some "before" photos and look how far you've come? Ugly days? They happen...just try to remember that you looked the same yesterday and everything was fine. Try to do something special for yourself...(smile)

We all get it. The fuglies, that is. A bad hair day, excess skin shown in just the wrong light in just the wrong outfit…whatever. Couple that with feelings of insecurity or bad news or pending “ugh” and we start to doubt everything, physically and emotionally.

For me, the emotional “ugh” comes from probable knee surgery in early/mid June. I’ve been pretty darn lucky these last few years – walking and exercising on two really bad knees – but my luck has worn out. They just aren’t working anymore. But unlike the old me, the new me is checking in and listening. This may sound silly, but I like to meditate for a few moments on whatever body part and say, “I care about you. You’re a part of me. I will do what is necessary to protect you.” And I get a better sense of what I need to do to heal.

What a change from before! It used to be I saw my body – more specifically, its parts – as a separate entity, like a farmer and his cow. He appreciates it, but he’s willing to sell it.

I’m not willing to let my body parts go anymore. Heck, it’s why I lost weight! I finally cared about the whole darn package. My mind was no longer separate from my body. Now, when specific body parts need extra attention, I listen (although I rarely like what those parts have to say.)

I hate surgery and hospitals and drugs (wait…the drugs might not be so bad…) and not being able to shower for god knows how long, but the frightful thoughts have brought forth a mindfulness that I hope will help me make a good decision.

In the meantime, I changed my hair part to make me feel less…fugly. And according to this photo, I look pretty much the same as I did two years ago. It’s all in my head.
Thank you so much for reading, and a special thank you to my Facebook commenters. You helped me combat those uglies. Or fuglies. Whichever you prefer. LOL

AND?

The kids – all of us – are alright. (Keith Moon…need I say more?)


 

11 comments:

  1. I switched the part in my hair in the early '90s, I think, and it felt so weird for so long. But I had been fighting a losing battle with a cowlick and changing the part ended some serious hair anxiety.

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  2. You're beautiful. Don't let your brain fool you into thinking otherwise.

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  3. You look younger in the new picture...just goes to show that you are getting better and better at this healthy living thing (even if your knees aren't exactly cooperating).

    T minus what, 13 days? Woot!!!

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  4. you look so lovely :) and i love that you dig the who! :)

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  5. You look great. I think maybe
    everyone has those days. I think
    when I have one I will give it
    a name and do what you did--
    change something. Maybe put
    on my favorite clothes for the
    day. Thanks for the idea. Have
    a great day.

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  6. I so love the picture of Claire. And the one with you and Luca and his beautiful blue eyes is simply gorgeous! And while surgery is no fun, it will help with all that you are dealing with so I think it is definitely a good idea. Please keep us posted on everything.

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  7. I think you look beautiful in any hair style Lynn *smile*.

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  8. Perhaps I let the fuglies get the best of me for a bit. I'm amazed at how much damage I can do if left unchecked.But it's good to be reminded that everyone has them.

    And before I forget, You looook mahhhvaaalous, dahhhling! (Think Billy Crystal on SNL in the 70s or 80s?) Cheers

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  9. Wow! The facebook crew really rallied on the whole fugly discussion. That's such an uplifting conversation. Makes me feel better even today. You look great! and like one of the facebook people said, just whip out a before picture if you have any doubts! ;-)

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  10. Love your new photo. You look Amazing! You're improving with age.
    Stephaniex

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