I’ve been here before. Five pounds up. It happened in 2008 and I wrote about it at Refuse to Regain. (See “A Tale of Five Pounds.” )
Those five pounds were due to my sensitivity to “S” foods: starches, sugars, sorbital and sucralose. I got careless with my diet and from August to November, I gained five pounds. When I restricted the S foods to 2-3 a day, those five pounds went away in three weeks.
These current five pounds are post-surgical pains in the butt, but last Monday, I put on my big girl undies and challenged myself to knock those bad boys to the curb. I’m calling it my Knock It Off! challenge.
It’s been a long time since I’ve committed to a challenge. Sure, I’m committed to walking normally again and am faithful to physical therapy, but I’m talking about a personal challenge. Something I do only because I want to. To prove I can. To fit into my skinny jeans again.
You know me, I always have a plan. I didn’t wake up on Monday and say, “Gosh, I think I’ll lose five pounds!” I journaled over the weekend, answering these questions:
1. Why do I want to lose five pounds?
2. If I didn’t lose five pounds, would I be OK with that – physically and emotionally?
3. How will I lose five pounds?
My answers (The Readers Digest version):
1. I want to lose five pounds because I don’t like how they feel around my middle. I feel bloated and my pants are tight. There’s a point at which – usually around 126-130 – that I feel truly thin. My stomach is flat and I move lithely, bending effortlessly. I remember that feeling and I miss it.
Other than that, I have no “reason” to lose five pounds. At 135, I’m totally within an acceptable BMI. However, I know that if I don’t care about these five pounds, when will I start caring? At 10 pounds gained? 20? 50? As with any weight goal we establish for ourselves, it’s a personal preference as to what is acceptable. For me, five extra pounds is the top of my acceptable. I like being at the low end of the BMI scale. I am at home there.
2. If I don’t lose, will I be OK with it? In a word: no.
I know my body functions better at a lighter weight and so, if it’s within my power to do so, I will lose five pounds. If, however, my body will not give them up despite my best (and not crazy) efforts, I will make my peace. But in the meantime, no, I’m not OK with these five pounds and I want them gone. I will, however, be patient and give my body the time it needs to disperse of them.
3. How I’ll lose these five buggers is probably the toughest question. I eat roughly 1300-1500 calories a day, so eating less really isn’t an option. However, my choices are subject to change.
Just as I did the last time, I’m restricting my S foods to 2-3 a day. While I haven’t eaten as “badly” as before, my current intake could use a little tweaking. I’ll also increase my activity level the best I can and get back to a regular meditation schedule to lessen my stress. Weight gain isn’t solely a result of eating more and moving less. I’m under a lot of pressure these days and I know I need to deal with it in a more loving and kind fashion. That I recognize this is 99 percent of the battle. The other 1 percent should be a cinch once I get my brain around it.
You all know, it’s easier to lose four or five pounds than 104 or 105 pounds. It’s best I start now. Besides, I can’t afford a new wardrobe! (And I really like these new jeans.)
Knock It Off! has begun. I’ll let you know if and when I get there. Thanks, as always, for listening.