Friday, October 29, 2010

Packing, Periods and Purging

This was probably not the most prudent time for me to take the 10-day progesterone regimen my doctor wanted me to start to rid me of my “endometrial issue.” But I did, and it’s working…sort of. Only now I’m packing while cramping and hyper and bloated with a few brain farts thrown in for good measure.

Thank goodness for Carlene and Tammy. They helped keep me sane yesterday.

Carlene, as you know, is my daughter, and Tammy is my friend who I met three years ago when she agreed to be the person who cleaned my house after I was diagnosed with severe osteoarthritis.

I wish all of you a Tammy in your life. She is crazy attentive to bathtubs and can scrub a white linoleum kitchen to sparkling like no one’s business. Just 5’2”, she somehow cleans the fluorescent ceiling light in the kitchen – 10 feet in the air – balanced between the kitchen sink and a stepladder. I can’t watch.

Tammy also introduced me to Mary Kay products. I love TimeWise everything. Makes my skin feel like I’m 16 again. Well, 30 anyway. The wrinkles just keep coming, but as long as my face doesn’t feel like leather, I’m good to go. Bring on old age.

Tammy came over yesterday and helped Carlene and I pack up the dining room and living room – the two rooms that contain my most precious possessions. They aren’t pricey by any means, but I’m a collector of memories and everything I own has meaning.

I have my great-grandmothers stereoviewer and the 3-D cards she’d brought with her from Norway; a carnival glass relish dish my grandmother Katinka won at a raffle at her local movie house in the 1930s; a collection of postcards from my hometown in Minnesota; German porcelain pitchers and cups painted with Victorian roses; and an unusual collection of books*. Carlene and Tammy wrapped everything and boxed them while I went through photo albums and tried not to cry. You don’t live somewhere for nearly 20 years or be with someone 14 without a few photos.

Leaving Clarion and leaving my relationship is hard enough without the emotional upheaval that hormones bring. I feel like I swallowed Lake Erie after I went to Presque Isle last week. That was the day I started this 10-day progesterone hell, the third (fourth?) time my doctor has prescribed it to get things moving.

Only having a few periods in nearly four years is a lot like allowing dust bunnies to accumulate under your bed. You can’t see them, but eventually you have to clean them out. I tell you this only to advise you to be vigilant about your body and how it functions. Make sure, as you lose weight, to pay attention to your girlie parts. If you aren’t menstruating the way you used to, tell your doctor. If something feels “off,” tell your doctor. Losing weight – especially a lot of weight when you are over 40 – creates havoc in your body. The poor thing gets confused.

Purging my body is like purging my house. It’s painful and it’s cathartic, poignant yet rote. I want to stay with what’s safe and familiar but at the same time I need to move beyond what I know and discover more truths.

I don’t always understand my body, but I’m not afraid of it any longer. I don’t completely understand why my marriage fell apart, either, but I’m not afraid of my future outside of it. It’s just different. A forced period, an unexpected move…in many ways they’re exciting in the same way you anticipate walking into a Halloween haunted house. You know the monsters aren’t real, but they’ll scare you just the same.

Have a healthy weekend, steer clear of the trick or treat candy, and move around a little. I’ll blog again from my new home.
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Congratulations to Tabatha, who won the Denise Austin “Hot Body Yoga” DVD this morning! Look for another Carlene DVD review and giveaway in the next few weeks. I think she’s got her eye on a Pilates workout.
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* I’d written about my book collection a few years ago on ZenBagLady. Just to warn you, it is rated PG-13. Click here to view.

13 comments:

  1. Absolutely gorgeous picture of you. Frame that one and put it somewhere that you'll see it every day! It shines confidence!

    Will be thinking of you often this weekend. Hope all goes smoothly with the move and the good-byes feel "right." Moving on is painful even when you know it's the way things are meant to be. Be safe!

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  2. Lynn,

    You have been so gracious to share so much of your life with us over the past years. All the best to you as you start this new adventure. You may not feel it, but from here you look very brave to me! :)

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  3. You are an amazing woman, strong in your will and mind, and now also, your body. I will come out on the other side of this feeling great! Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

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  4. Love that photo of you. Have a safe journey.

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  5. Wishing you all the best...you are my hero.

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  6. I hope all goes well with your move this weekend. I believe in that old cliche--"when one door closes, another one opens." You have such a love of life and people that you will embrace whatever comes and make it yours. And by that I mean, you will take with you what you love, what you do well, and in your zest for life, will find new meaning in all of it. I look forward to hearing more. Thank you for all you do for us out here in "blogland."

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  7. I'm so sorry you're going through such upheavals, but I know you're more than strong enough to survive them. And if a tear or two should escape, well, it's that much water weight gone. :) Will be thinking of you this weekend....

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  8. Have a productive weekend and know that you have lots of friends that you can lean on, in person and virtually.

    But then, my friend, you probably already know that.

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  9. Lynn,
    Thinking of you as you deal with your move. Know all too well the dealings with the hormones - going through that right now myself, actually. Glad it's only 10 days of treatment for you however, and that you'll feel brand new when you settle into your new home. Good luck to you :)

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  10. I hope your move goes well this weekend.
    Thank you for sharing your life with us your readers. I hope you find the peace and happiness you deserve.
    You have lots of friends supporting you both online and in person...

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  11. I'm a big avoider of the halloween treats too...but I have been reading a blog you might be interested in (with a post about this very issue):
    http://www.dropitandeat.blogspot.com
    I'm going to try out her advice this year...we'll see how it goes.

    Hope the move goes well...we moved in june for the 8th time...sigh xxx

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  12. Thank you for all the honest insights. I hope you know how incredibly helpful they are.

    And I second that you should frame that picture - it really is a great one!

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  13. This - "Well, 30 anyway" makes perfect sense to me...I SO get you!

    Late to the party and I already know how the move went, so I'll just agree with everyone on the gorgeous picture of your bad self! :)

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