Monday, January 17, 2011

One Thing

Most people who lose weight – whether it’s the first or 100th time – have “One Thing” in common: a comment, an incident, a photograph or some one thing that gets them on or back on the road to weight loss.

While I journaled and thought long and hard about why I wanted to lose weight this last time, my “One Thing” that put me on this journey was a photograph on the night of my daughter’s 20th birthday.

It was December 12, 2004. I’d offered to cook Cassie one of her favorite meals, but she insisted we go out.

“It’s snowing,” I said.

“Mom…,” she said, like a finger snap.

“Fine,” I sighed.

There was no use arguing with her. It was only flurries, and she’d just trump me with the guilt card and make me feel even worse. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail like I always did. My haircut was uneven and the color was a combination of store-bought dye, dark roots, and strands of gray. I’d stopped going to the salon because the chair was as uncomfortable as staring at my reflection in the mirror. I trimmed my bangs when the hair grew past my eyes, and I lopped off the ends when they looked frayed. I bought a bottle of color every few months when the gray made me as depressed as my weight.

I pulled a stretchy red sweater over my stretchy black pants with the small hole and a permanent stain on the leg. Not much fit anymore and I didn’t have the money to upgrade my wardrobe another size. I had garbage bags full of clothes in every size from 16 to 28, but what fit now was 30/32 and I only had a few shirts and pants that size. I threw on some socks and boots but no jewelry. My goal was always to remain as unnoticed as possible.

“You look nice,” said Larry as he put on his winter coat.

“Whatever,” I said.

We met Cassie and my other daughter Carlene at the restaurant, and despite the weather, the place was filled with pre-holiday parties. Most of the diners didn’t notice I was there, but I imagined everyone thought as I walked in, Oh my, she’s big. And probably a few did. We were seated next to a window with a view of the snow falling into the Allegheny River and I eased into a chair, red-faced from the short walk from the parking lot.

The girls were animated, as usual, talking over each other and carrying on two conversations at once. My girls loved me at any weight, so I knew it was futile to say no to a photo when Cassie handed her camera to Larry and said, “Take a picture of me and Mom!”

“Smile,” he said, and I did.

“That’s a nice photo of us, Mom,” said Cassie as she scrolled through the photos.

“Yes, honey, it is,” I lied.

At first glance I did the usual, “How could you let yourself get that big?” self-flagellating ritual. Then something caught my eye. Something bigger than my third chin. Cassie had placed her cheek next to mine and she was beaming. She was happy because she was with her mother on her birthday. Not her morbidly obese mother, her ill-dressed mother, her isolated, guarded, self-loathing mother – those were my descriptors. Cassie loved me just the way I was.

“Losing weight, really losing it,” my friend Frankie once told me, “demands that you cut the pounds away from your sense of self, not yourself away from your essence.”

I’d allowed weight to become my essence. That photo of Cassie and me – my final “One Thing” – challenged me to really see and feel the nearly 300-pound body in which I lived and to decide once and for all if I was going to allow my weight to be my personal judge and jury.

A few weeks later, I started my last descent down the scale. It had to be the last time because I knew if I didn’t figure out a way to lose weight and keep it off that I would die. Maybe not the next day or the next year, but young. It wasn’t just my daughter in that photo. It was Larry, Carlene, my stepsons, parents, siblings, and all the other people who loved me.

That photograph took me outside the world of my 300-pound body and showed me the real reason to lose weight.

Most of us have One Thing in common. What is yours?

56 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, Lynn! Once more, you have written words with an amazing correlation to my own life. My "one thing" happened last night with a wake-up call through a statement my husband made. His birthday is today. My gift to him (but more to me) is to honor his request of "no more inconsistency" and lose the weight I've regained. How lucky I am to have someone who loves me no matter what weight I am and cares enough to feel the pain of it. What a great gift for both of us to begin on his birthday and celebrate reaching goal weight on mine in July?

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  2. Wow I cant believe that was how you used to look when I see what you look like now...its so inspirational to all those who are obese and wanting to lose weight...thanks for sharing and reminding us on how far you have come.

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  3. Wow, very powerful words you've written today. My "one thing" was a picture also of me at my second wedding. I was appalled horrifed and shocked when I looked at that picture. I knew in my head my weight had gone way up but seeing it in that picture made it real to me some how. Also, I felt like if I went over 200 pounds I would never get back down and I was finally scared I would but I was also mentally, emotionally, ready to take on the journey of losing the weight. Happily I did lose the 40 lbs and have kept most of it off these last 14 years now:)

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  4. My baby climbed up on me today (we were lying down in front of her mirrored wardrobe) and we lay there smiling at each other in the reflection. Her face pressed on top of mine. She loves me so much. I have to live for her. I got up and went and called my dietician. I hope it is my 'one thing'

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  5. That is a beautiful story, really. That is a lovely "one thing", so many are hurtful and ungly to think about, but not yours.

    Mine really isn't either. My final "one thing" is my health. I am 37, after a battery of tests like ct scans, untrasounds, urine and bloodwork I found out I am in basically perfect health. I couldn't believe it. My health is wonderful even at 236 pounds, 37 and not active enough. I want it to stay that way. I know after 40 it is harder to lose weight and then menopause comes along too but also the older you get the more possible health issues you face especially in obese. I want to enjoy life, I want to have a long HEALTHY life!

    That's my one thing :)

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  6. Lynn, I totally love this post. It actually made me cry (I still have tears in my eyes!).

    You're so incredibly amazing, you're another one of my heroes.

    My one thing was when I weighed 240 pounds. I'd been going through all the self-flagellation (as you so eloquently put it), but it still didn't make me lose weight.

    My trigger was my health. My blood pressure was 180/90. Stroke waiting to happen (I was 52 at the time). Severe pains in different joints, knees, elbows, shoulders, at different times. Like a knife stabbing into the joint. I realized I was going to die at a very young age if I didn't do something about my weight. It's amazing what death staring you in the face can do to a person.

    Anyway, love this post...and love you. You're an incredible inspiration.

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  8. what a great post.... perfectly said to make me think about the one real reason! THANK YOU...

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  9. Another great post, Lynn. It contains so much truth--there is often "one thing" that touches us so deeply that we can't help but to be moved into action. When I lost weight about 10 years ago (and yes, I have kept some of it off), it was after viewing the photos from my daughter's wedding. I was devastated and felt ashamed when I saw them. I stewed for a while, and then was spurred into action. Thanks for reminding me of that time, in terms of my current struggles.

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  10. I have many "one things"; but most recently was a family photo taken at our Christmas dinner. Amongst all all of us I manage to position myself behind as many people as my 5'4" frame would allow. I perched myself next to my 8 month old pregnant sister-in-law thinking at least I can look a little thinner next to her...alas, I was wrong. I don't feel big at all. I don't have issues walking up stairs or across a parking lot; I love to dance and go to Zumba often; but I look at pictures and I am just amazed that this is what other people see because I don't even feel remotely this large. I weigh 249 and wear a size 24/26. I only hope I can be as dedicated as you...now that I am soon to be a grandma, I want to be around to enjoy my grandchild.

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  11. I just have to say what the other commenters have said, "Oh my gosh!" You write what so many of us have felt and gone through. I have been trying to think what my one defining, that's it moment was. Can't seem to remember, just know that I have been so miserable for so long, and like you have children and grandchildren that love and accept me. But they also want me to be around and now I know I will be. Thank you.

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  12. I don't know if I have that "one thing" or not...it's more a compilation of little things over time...but in a big way it was also realizing that, as I kept telling myself "geez, I weigh over 200 pounds" that in reality, I was actually closer to 300... wow, the way we can fool ourselves is something else! I have just begun my journey - I've lost 31 lbs. so far... but I feel pretty good about my chances this time...

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  13. you write well and I could relate to what you say about the self-loathing bit even though I do not want to admit it.
    I will try to follow your blog while at the same time trying to find the "one thing" to make me wake up

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  14. Wow! What a story! Very touching! My "one thing" hasn't been just one thing... it's been many things... still struggling out here!

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  15. Wonderful post! Like a few others, I am hoping that 'one thing' will resonate with me. I have begun to journaling daily hoping that this will lead me to where I know I need to go and that it will bring consistency in thoughts, actions, exercise and meals.

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  16. I don't have anyone in my life that cares about me. If I wasn't here life would go on without me easily for everyone. I have friends, i have a twin sister who loves me but rarely has time for me in her life. I have no children, no man in my life. I'm not sure how I can start to even love myself enough to want to lose the weight again. I've gone through GBS, plastic surgery, diets, fasts and at 47 I've gained almost all the weight back. Thank you for sharing your story. You made me cry. You are the one above all else that took food away from the equation where it should be.

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  17. I thank you for your post! I have a 10 month old daughter and I currently weigh 260 pounds. When I went in to have her I weighed 300 pounds. I felt as though everyone (nurses and doctors) were looking at me like "ugh." But now I have this beautiful baby girl and a wonderful husband that loves me reguardless, but I need to be heathier for her. I want to be able to chase her and play with her until we BOTH fall down of exaustion. I don't want to be the mommy that says, "Sorry sweetie, you need to go play by yourself, Mommy is tired." Your story is a true help! This weight loss can be done!

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  18. Hi, I found about you on Yahoo. I loved my visit to your Blog. I am going to talk about you on mine with my girls from Sydney, Australia.

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  19. I just found your blog and the pics of you before and now....let me say, I am inspired!
    Not too long ago I was looking at christmas 2010 pictures and I realized how big I am. Stupidly, I pulled out old pictures of myself and it dawned on me that at one point I was smaller, happier, and healthier. I knew right then that something had to be done! I had to make sure that I will be there for my daughters...to see them grow up and experience life, and for them not to say "I don't want to die and be fat like my mom".
    I have started my own body formation...weight watchers, exercise, less sweets, more of the good (healthy) foods. I am very thrilled to say that in the last 2 weeks (I know it's not long, but it's a start) I have lost 6 pounds and have been able to get into my pre-pregnancy work scrubs!!
    You have inspired me so much! And it feels good to know that weight watchers may be able to help...or at least help hold me accountable to what I choose to put into my body.

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  20. This has been uplifting to read everyone's "One Thing". We have moved to a new city in the last 6 months, and it hasn't been what either me or my husband has expected. In this isolation and stress I have found myself turning to food for comfort. I knew I could see the weight gain on the scales, but now i feel my "backside" jiggling up and down even when I walk, and not to mention when I put on shirts that use to hang over my hips now sit on them! I am finding myself wearing more jackets to cover up and just yesterday I went on what could pretty much be considered my first shopping excursion since moving here. Company came in and me and my friend went to an outlet mall, and as I walked past a store window, I glanced over and saw myself and it reinforced my "backside" was as big as it is feeling. So, this really sums up the incident that I believe reinforces my desperate need to lose weight. Thanks for everyone sharing their story, it is nice to have a safe place to share mine.

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  21. We always focus so much on the outside and what others think of us (usually how badly). I see a lot of love in that photo between you two - and that is something I think overweight people forget - that there are those in our lives who love us for who we are and not the number on the scale.

    My one thing was seeing the round number of 250, for whatever reason. That still sticks in my head.

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  22. Big or small, you still have a beautiful face my friend!

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  23. Reading your blog today was like reading about ME right now. I too have a daughter named Cassie so it really touched home!! My hope is that I can start to go down this weight loss journey that I need to do because I do love myself, not loathe myself. I do know that I'm worth it, that part of me just needs to over power the other part the puts me down. I'm going to check into your blog often as I feel that doing so will continue to be inspiring. Thanks for sharing!

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  24. Wow....I couldn't help but cry after reading this entry. I have been overweight for 6 years now, since the day I gave birth to my daughter! and Although I love my kids to death I have been so miserable ever since. I am so embarrassed and ashamed of my looks that, that totally prevents me from being happy! Thank you so much for sharing this with us and giving me strength!

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  25. It's a new year, so as usual I figured "losing weight" should be on the resolution list. I am only 42, but I currently weigh 210, and I'm going to a chiropractor because my back and knees hurt, I sleep in a recliner chair at night, my whole life is just not "normal" because I am about 60 pounds overweight.

    So, I just joined Weight Watchers a week ago, but I don't think I'm doing it right. I started writing down everything I eat daily, but then for some strange reason I let it lapse mid-week and haven't written anything down since then. I kinda feel defeated already, because I had too many sweets that put me over my daily points. I haven't attended a meeting yet either, but I just don't know if I want to be in a room full of other overweight and embarrassed women like me. Seems like too much pressure.

    Here's the weird thing...I've got PLENTY of motivation!! First, I have Type II Diabetes, but if I lose 60 pounds, it might just go away, or at the very least, improve immensely. Secondly, my 25th high school class reunion is this coming summer, and finally, my husband's 35th class reunion is also this summer...so, even though HE loves me "just the way I am," I would LOVE to be the "trophy wife," looking gorgeous and thinner. So the motivations are definitely there, I just can't seem to stick to it.

    I live in Pittsburgh too, but I don't know many people (I stay home to take care of my 89 year old mother-in-law), so I'm glad to find another woman in Pittsburgh who writes a blog about losing weight! I'm transplanted from DC (where the stress level of daily life was just too much) and originally from Michigan, (where there's nothing to do in winter except eat), so I absolutely LOVE to eat. I think that's the problem.

    Stress makes me eat more, depression makes me eat more, and even though my step-son has been dieting and losing more than 50 pounds in the past few months, (another motivator AND inspiration), I still can't seem to keep going on any diet. I lost 35 pounds with the Atkins diet when I first learned that I was diabetic, but I'm also a carb-addict, so I wanted bread again, and ended up gaining back about 20 pounds of it.

    Anyway, even with motivation all over the place, inspiration with my step-son who makes it seem so easy to do, and support from my mom and husband, I just can't seem to "get with the program." I have no idea what to do, it feels like a dead end and wasted money on Weight Watchers.

    If you have any advice, please email me....my email address is TowandaRox@yahoo.com. Thanks so much and keep on writing!! ---Rebecca

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  26. It's a new year, so as usual I figured "losing weight" should be on the resolution list. I am only 42, but I currently weigh 210, and I'm going to a chiropractor because my back and knees hurt, I sleep in a recliner chair at night, my whole life is just not "normal" because I am about 60 pounds overweight.

    So, I just joined Weight Watchers a week ago, but I don't think I'm doing it right. I started writing down everything I eat daily, but then for some strange reason I let it lapse mid-week and haven't written anything down since then. I kinda feel defeated already, because I had too many sweets that put me over my daily points. I haven't attended a meeting yet either, but I just don't know if I want to be in a room full of other overweight and embarrassed women like me. Seems like too much pressure.

    Here's the weird thing...I've got PLENTY of motivation!! First, I have Type II Diabetes, but if I lose 60 pounds, it might just go away, or at the very least, improve immensely. Secondly, my 25th high school class reunion is this coming summer, and finally, my husband's 35th class reunion is also this summer...so, even though HE loves me "just the way I am," I would LOVE to be the "trophy wife," looking gorgeous and thinner. So the motivations are definitely there, I just can't seem to stick to it.

    I live in Pittsburgh too, but I don't know many people (I stay home to take care of my 89 year old mother-in-law), so I'm glad to find another woman in Pittsburgh who writes a blog about losing weight! I'm transplanted from DC (where the stress level of daily life was just too much) and originally from Michigan, (where there's nothing to do in winter except eat).

    Anyway, even with motivation all over the place, inspiration with my step-son who makes it seem so easy to do, and support from my mom and husband, I just can't seem to "get with the program." I have no idea what to do, it feels like a dead end and wasted money on Weight Watchers.

    If you have any advice, please email me....my email address is TowandaRox@yahoo.com. Thanks so much and keep on writing!! ---Rebecca

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  27. My "One Thing" happened some time ago I was changing my clothes and my daughter was watching me. She is 6 years old and at that age children are still pretty much brutally honest. She came right out and said "Mommy, you had a big stomach." My problem has always been my stomach. I still have the baby fat from when I was pregnant with my daughter. But I'm determined to lose it this year. Now more than ever.

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  28. Powerful words, Lynn.

    I think I had lots of little one more things...wondering if I would fit in the roller coaster seat... stretching the airline seat buckle to the very end and hoping I could still get it fastened...finding myself turn down invitation after invitation because I didn't want to be the fattest girl in the room...breaking a lawnchair in a group of people and finally realizing that I deserved better.

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  29. I saw you on Yahoo news today about bloggers who have lost weight. Way to go!!! :)

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  30. love this post. absolutely. You have to cut away the crap and realize the fat is covering the real you. Stop letting the fat eat you. Great post. I am glad you could see yourself through your daughter's eyes.

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  31. I saw your blog on Yahoo News. I am struggling just as the others have written. I'm 47 years old and hired a trainer 9 months ago to try and get healthy and lose weight starting at 298 lbs. I have lost 20 lbs during this time however, seem to stay in a distructive mode with eating which is so frustrating. I too journaled my food staying at 1200 to 1000 calories a day for 1 month and only lost 20 lbs. I felt I should have lost more because I sacrificed like I did which got frustrated and gave up again. Talked to my trainer today and she suggested speaking with a counselor to see why I don't like myself. You Blog was very inspirational. Thank you for being so transparent.

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  32. My one thing came today. I spent most of the day angry at myself. Once again I have eaten my way back up to where my 14's are skin tight on me. Oh, I have a "pretty" face most would say but take a look and you'll see a fat belly, thighs and chubby cheeks.

    As of today only one pair of pants now fits me. One. I downloaded a free calorie counting app for my phone and kept track of everything I ate. It worked. I ate just 1600 calories and worked out for 50 minutes. I am done with feeling like crud!!!

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  33. I think I had my "one thing" moment last night although today I did nothing about it. Yesterday I had to have my 8 year old daughter come in and help my clean my bottom in the shower. I just cannot reach around myself anymore. I need help. I lost my job in October and have no money to join a gym or weight watchers. We get food stamps and I have no idea how to feed our family cheap and healthy. I am miserable and have no motivation!!!! I am 34 years old and weigh 320 pounds....help!!!

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  34. I don't go to the salon any more...and now I know why. Thank you for the inspiration!

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  35. Hi Lynn. Let me start by saying you're such an amazing writer. It felt so sincere and so honest.

    In the part where you said it's not just you and your daughter in the photo, it reminded that when we choose to take care of ourselves we also choose to take care of our loved ones. In the quest to be healthy, the prize is not only looking beautiful or wearing the clothes we want to wear, it's also the happiness of loved ones.

    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sure you're an inspiration to a lot women out there.

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  36. Hello Lynn, My name is Tammy. I Just finished reading your blog and all I can say is WOW!. You look amazing. I am 32 yrs old and my current weight is 203 pounds. I recently join weight wacthers online.Lets just say its not going to well. I have never been a healthy eater, the foods I eat consist of grilled cheese, french fries, pepperoni pizza and chicken fingers not to mention the cakes cookies and pies. I have not had a vegetable since I was one yrs old. It's hard for me to begin even eating the right things after going my whole life without them. I would appreciate any advice you may have Thank you. Keep up the good work.

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  37. Lynn,
    This is the first weightloss blog I've read and I have to say that I do have a 'one thing' in my life. I have an identical twin who isn't overweight. Whenever we go out together, people ask 'are you two related?'. To non-twins this wouldn't seem unusual. But to a twin, this is. We were both always skinny, and we'd get asked, "are you two twins?!" And we'd both eagerly answer, "yes!" and laugh. Not now..it's more like a kick to the gut...especially with the looks we get when my twin answers that we are in fact 'twins' not just related. It's a look of disbelief and shock (not the good kind). Kind of reminds me of that movie Twins with Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzennagar. Now when asked, I simply answer (before my twin can) that we are siblings...nothing more. It's too embarrassing to deal with the fact that we used to be the same size. And it's worse when we see old friends that haven't seen us in years...they look at my twin then back at me and say nothing, but you can see the look on their face. I'm truly tired of seeing that 'look' wherever I go. It's motivation enough for me to want to drop the weight. I have other reasons..but that is the one that stands out the most for me.

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  38. I read your post with a sense that I knew exactly how you felt because its in so many ways, how of feel. Nothing dramatic starting this latest journey ( how refreshing to find I'm not the only one up/down/up/down in weight. I got towards the end of 2010 and all the reviews of the year came on TV and I was as big, even bigger than last new year, I was hardly going out, not walking anywhere for getting all red-faced. I had an increasing sense of ENOUGH. I had had ENOUGH. Your before and after photos are inspirational. I so want to get there, I shall follow your blog
    Dawn

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  39. 1. Fear of diabetes;
    I was active in a quilting group where I was (nearly) the youngest in the very large group of women. And one by one they were being diagnosed with diabetes. And they were all older and heavier than I was. But I could see where I was headed.

    2. read Frances Kuffels Passing for Thin. I could clearly see my habits were going to get me into the 300lbs+ level. I believed what she wrote and turned myself around that year.

    Very good post.

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  40. WOW!.....I see so much of me here.....you are an inspiration!.....I would definitely buy and read your book.

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  41. You are an inspiration. Your story is very similar to me. I just turned 49 yesterday and was out with my family at a restaurant. When we walked in I felt the same "everybody is looking at me" feeling. I have a daughter who is 18 and I feel embarassed for her when I am around because of my weight. I am about 110 lbs overweight. I have made a vow to myself that when I hit 50 yrs old, I am going to be and look healthly. I do not love myself right now because I have not been strong enough to have self control and lose the weight. I live with a lot of stress in my life both at work and at home. I am trying to figure out how to not turn to food when I am stressed. I need to find a way to love myself and get healthy for all of the people in my life that loves me. Thanks for your story. It makes me see there are people out there who can turn their life around.

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  42. Hi Lynn, as you have been told before, your success has been so inspirying to me. Seing your before and after picture has left me to think that i can do it too. Please excuse my english, for it´s not my native lenguage. I am from Panama, and though my country is bilingual, spanish is still my 1st lenguage.
    I am 36 years old and had my 1st baby 9 months ago. Pregnancy got me when I weighed the most, and now i am in a new "the most". I don´t know anything about blogs, just read about you in yahoo, and am so motivated from reading yours. I weigh 249 pounds and really need to make a change in my life. I struggled with my weight since I can remember, but really since my 26th birthday.
    Now that my son is 9 months and he is starting to walk, i find myself not able to join him. I mean he is fast!!!!I see now that if i want to enjoy him and be in his life for the most i can, i really need to do something about my weight. Everything hurts, my feet, ancles, knees, and my ciatic nerve is killing me because my body is not used to this weight.
    I really want a baby girl, and since i am 37 (soon to be) i want to get pregnant again before i turn 39. For this i also need to loose weight or i won´t be able to walk because of the pain. I find myself always tired, and even though my husband loves me as i am, i am missing out on things since i don´t really want to go out anymore. I used to live in Kansas, wish I loved, the people are great, but now i am on a diplomatic mission in southamerica. I dont know if you know this, but Argentina, Chile and Paraguay are the most body cultured countries. EVERYONE HERE IS THIN!!!. In Argentina they are anorexic thin, but in Paraguay they are healthy fit. I can´t find clothes to wear since they only sale till size 16, and people are always talking about been thin. it´s like their priority value, instead of others.
    I need to include exercise in my life but for now i have a bone spur and now in treatment for it. Hope it heals soon, so i can start to walk at least.
    Thanks for sharing your success, and I hope I can achieve it too.

    Mayté

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  43. Lynn, this post sooo hits home and brings tears to my eyes! My husband and I have 5 children, ages 21 to 9. We've been married for 22 years and I weighed about 135 back then. I'm 42 now and up until a few months ago I was up to 232.(my husband is wonderful and never says a word, bless his heart)! I am the "photographer" in my family and have tons and tons of photos and video of my whole family without me in most of it. In one of my videos, my then 4 year old daughter said "I want to get Mommy"..she wanted to video tape me, I said "oh honey, mommy looks ugly" she frowned and said "huh uh". Another instance was a couple of years ago, my other daughter and I were in a store, I tried on a dress, (The flourescent lights in the stores do not help things at all), and I said "ugh...I look" and she cut in and said "like my mama, you look like my mama"..sweet girls. Needless to say, I've worn the same 4 sets of clothes for about 2 years because I couldn't make myself purchase anything. For the last year I've been researching "diets" and natural "helps"! I went to a gym to check pricing but didn't join. November 30, 2010, I was driving home from work and about a mile down the road, I just said to myself, that's it, I'm done with this, I've had my nose to the grindstone, taking care of my children and my husband, working and now I'm going to take care of me too. I drove to the gym I had priced months earlier, walked in and signed up. I went home got my tennis shoes on, went back and I've been almost every day since. I've lost 19.6 pounds. It's like a light switch just finally turned on. I don't want to lose it by tomorrow, next week or next month. My plan is to take my time, 1 year, 2 years whatever it takes. I finally have my mind made up. 7 weeks in and I enjoy my time at the gym. I started out slow, walking for about 15 minutes and then going to the dry sauna. I'm up to over an hour of exercising now. I am determined! I've never posted anything before but saw this from Yahoo today and your post really hit home. You look great and I am proud of you!

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  44. Not to be redundant but....WOW!!! Amazing, amazing story! I have lost about the same amount of weight as you have (used to weigh 274 lbs) due to Crohn's disease. It was involuntary but I have had to learn to eat a healthy, whole food diet and exercise as a result. I struggle with body image issues and twisted self image though, so I am looking around at others' stories to find my way. I totally admire anyone who made these changes to a healthy lifestyle voluntarily! Thank you!

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  45. I have just read the "8 Amazing Blogger Weight-Loss Transformations" on Yahoo and you were, for me, the most inspiring! Thank you for sharing your intimate life with us.

    My "one-thing", I have also called the "ah-ha moment". I always felt let down because I never had that "ah-ha moment" or "one-thing". I new people got them from photos, health scares, not fitting into a favorite outfit, etc. But I never had it.

    However! My one thing finally came very, VERY gradually. I want to have more children more than anything. But remembering how I felt the last time I was pregnant, I can't do it again at my current weight. The thought of putting on 30 lbs on top of what I already weigh is devistating. So my maternal, biological clock is my "one-thing".

    Thanks again for sharing!

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  46. My "one thing" was being diagnosed with high blood pressure and being put on medication. I'm 62 and when I walked into the cardiologist's office that my naturopath sent me to and saw all the white haired people is when I decided that I would get off the high blood pressure meds because I truly didn't want to be there. I've lost 80 lbs and I work out 5-6 days a week...two with a personal trainer, two at Silver Sneakers and one or two on my own at home. I love how I look and feel and I'm very proud of myself. I had a belief that I was too old to be able to lose weight and I'm so glad I challenged that belief. I also am no longer taking medication for high blood pressure because I no longer have high blood pressure!!

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  47. My moment began the morning of my father's funeral. I had to buy new clothes because nothing fit and I knew I'd be seeing people - family, friends - that hadn't seen me since I'd gained all of the weight. I imagined what they said/thought when they saw me and I was ashamed of letting anyone see me that way. I knew that if I didn't get it under control, I'd die just like my father: from diabetes and heart disease. His death and that entire experience was my wake-up call.
    Great post as usual, Lynn. You really have a way with words that hits so close to home. Can't wait to read your book.

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  48. First of all, 48 comments?! You go, Mom! Secondly, I DID love you at any weight. And what I loved you at that weight was cuddling up next to you. Of course, I can still do it now, but then it was different. You always welcomed us to relax on the couch with you. Regardless of what the scale told you, you were always a fantastic Mom. You always will be.

    And I still say that's a beautiful photo of us. Even 6 years later.

    I love you!

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  49. My moment was when I realized I could not ride a zip line with my kids.

    My other moment - being chosen as a Biggest Loser contestant for our local TV station compeition. I said - wow - you mus tbe big if they chose you for that.

    I am looking forward to following your blog. I think we all have that teary moment when we have to start loving ourselves. You can follow my journey at http://athenatrainingdiary.blogspot.com/

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  50. Photos never worked on me. I was always fat so photos showed me nothing I didn't already know. It was only after I lost 40lbs+ that I found the old photos and thought, "Oh my..." I was bigger than I remembered being.

    This shows why we should take lots of photos: Before, Midway, and After. It's not only a sign of where I'm coming from, but also reminds me of where I don't want to return.

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  51. Your post made me cry...i've started my last decent down the scale,too...I've been thinking a lot lately about how our children do love us unconditionally...

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  52. Like many others here, I read your story on Yahoo last week. Your comment about doing the inside work first stuck with me and a week and a half later, I searched for your blog. And I am glad that I found it. As a daughter and a mother to a young daughter, I was very moved by this post. Even though I have a loving family and a great group of friends, I have felt very alone in dealing with my weight issues because I don't often open up about them. It is so nice to know that others are experiencing some of the same emotions.

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  53. I had many many bad photos and I felt/feel permanently sad about my fugliness and it does contribute to my shyness. However I managed to forget within my close family, my work, my books and cooking and food. I lost an well deserved (according to me) promotion this year. I had worked 12 hours days daily for last 2 years. Then suddenly losing weight seemed like the best thing too. I will be beautiful and I will be successful. I think this was my "one thing". You do write very well and very logical. Will stay in touch.

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  54. I know I'm a little late finding your blog and there are a lot of comments already but my "one thing" came on a trip to Washington D.C. with my daughter and husband. My husband had never been there and my daughter wanted him to see the White House. We were blocks away (the blocks in DC are incredibly long!)and by the time we got to the White House and then trying to get to the Metro station I could hardly walk; I sat down on a bench on Pennsylvania Ave. and cried. My husband said I needed to do something about my knees (knee replacement due to arthritis) but I realized I needed to lose weight, period! I went to my Dr. and he agreed with me that a Lapband would be a good idea. I had the surgery last Nov 16th and have lost 42 lbs in a year. (some before the surgery). I still have 13 lbs to go to break the 200lb barrier and am fighting demons every day. Thank you for your heartfelt blog and giving me determination to not go backwards! I am keeping your blog in my email so I can read it whenever I need encouragement!

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  55. It's inspiration to me. Thanks for sharing your "one thing". It touch me so deeply. I would keep on my one thing, keep losing weight till to what i want.

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